Making Sound

I could write, i could express my feelings, as the famous line goes "Punch me in the face and i bleed".. well it applies to me too. i may have a heart of a stone and a mind that's always under my control, i may be able to suppress what i felt..and its true, but there are things that i cant control, and for that, i watch such things happens helplessly :(.. and i cant do anything about it..for the past decade iv been hunting for the very thing that my heart wants. encountered too many people in my quest for the very thing i ever wanted. well' thing is what I'm referring to. but it is not really a thing..And by reading this Puzzles ur messy mind,. I never knew just the other day, i came to realize that i have people always at my back.. and people who are close to me and i considered them as villains and antagonist of my complicated life, for without them there is no me who hate and love them,  so if you happen to be one "thanks for being part of me".. "for all my ex's read this "you are all bitches and i cant forget what all of you have done to me, i trusted each of u." (Did i?) "i really did trust all of them", (Hay Na Ilad Napod ko)  and i thought everyone of them is different but well they are all the same bitches just in another flavor,and for all of you who owes me "eat it, its yours!" its not that i did you a favor. the point is to test you if you are true or not,. but then you failed and your just another record in my blacklist..to pass a test is to win me and my trust..a pure heart is something you cant buy with earthly things and so as friends and love ones, and in this world there are few people who has it.. right now im fucking in love and im not sure if this is ryt for me, im making a sound where i should not make a sound at all, silence is just everywhere, my mind is all filled with clouds, i know there is a way across time, and my future is coming up so fast..and still i cant forget the past i have..and still i have to dream and i have to forget all about these things, about my broken heart that is beating up so fast until now..it just feels so empty every time, i have something but it is not filling up the empty space, and its hard to give up when you know its something you still want..I'm in the state of choosing which is which..but as life goes by for me, He above and his light has its own way of letting me know and finding out things which they don't want me to know..(Char!) but its true..

NOTE: this was written "Sep 13, 2008" from my  myspace blog.